Evening

From the book:

July 1954. An island off the coast of Maine. Ann Grant- a 25 year-old New York career girl- is a bridesmaid at her best friend’s lavish wedding. Also present is a man named Harris Arden, whom Ann has never met...

After three marriages and five children, Ann Lord lies dying in an upstairs bedroom of a house in Cambridge, Massachusetts. What comes to her, eclipsing a stream of doctor’s visits and friends stopping by and grown children overheard whispering from the next room, is a rush of memories from a weekend 40 years ago in Maine, when she fell in love with a passion that even now throws a shadow onto the rest of her life. In Evening, Susan Minot gives us a novel of spellbinding power on the nature of memory and love.

My two cents worth:

“Let’s just say that you won’t see the leaves change this year” was Dr Baker’s honest answer to how long Ann had left in the world. As she lies dying from cancer with little time left in the world, heavily medicated and rarely lucid, her mind goes back in time from one memory to another of how her life was spent.

Her most significant memory was from 40 years ago, over one weekend in Maine at her best friend’s wedding, where she found and lost her true love. In between, her memory also jumps to her three other husbands who she could not love to the fullest owing to the memory of the man she met that one weekend at the wedding.

It can be quite confusing to read the book at times as the story is told from a perspective of a delirious woman on her death bed. The memories get jumbled up and you may have to read certain parts twice just to be sure if it was from the past or present. Despite the confusion, the book brings out the highs and lows of Ann’s life which in reality we could all relate to in our own lives.

The book had a realistic feel to it- how children are affected by a parent’s illness; their plans to move forward; an ailing woman on her death bed who reflects on the significance of her life. Evening touches on life and death, love and loss and is a beautiful novel to read.

The movie:

I’ve been wanting to catch this movie for the longest time but decided to hold it off until I finished the book. With a bit of free time over the weekend, I managed to get my hands on the DVD, sat myself down on the sofa and dedicated my full attention to the movie.

One cannot help but feel star struck with the list of cast for the movie which included Claire Danes, Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Toni Collete and Natasha Richardson. Even with the star studded cast, unfortunately the movie came across flat and did not highlight the different characters as the book did. The movie also had moments that were dragging (to be honest I dozed off at one point).

For those who have not read the book, the movie might be acceptable. But for those who have read the book, you will find that the storyline had changed drastically to fit the screens. However, the movie did successfully carry the essence of the book which still touched on life and death, love and loss.

Verdict: Both the book and the movie are draggy but the book had more depth in terms of storyline and character. So book wins again.

Twilight

Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I have been raving about the Twilight saga for the longest time and that I’ve been impatiently waiting for the movie. Well it finally arrived in Malaysia last week and luckily I had invites to the preview and was one of the first people in Malaysia who saw it.

I’m probably not giving the movie a fair review seeing that Malaysian authorities have a habit of editing every single thing they deem as offensive. Yes, can you believe they edited some parts of Twilight???? There was nothing sexual or violent about the movie at all for God’s sakes! Urghhhhh... am so getting myself a DVD.

Well first off, I’ve mentioned before in my previous blog that I thought Orlando Bloom would have made a better Edward Cullen but of course I don’t think he would take on such roles. I had my doubts about Pattison playing the role in the beginning but he turned out ok. In fact he outdid my expectations in terms of acting just that I felt he didn’t cut it in terms of looks or my visualization of how EC should look like. Kristin Steward played her role well and Bella’s character was as annoying on screen as she was in the book (...I’m just jealous).

As an ardent fan of the book, I had high expectations for the movie but somehow it came across as B Grade. The chemistry between Edward and Bella which was the winning point of the book came out somewhat corny in the movie. Overall, the movie depicted the book’s storyline almost to perfection and is an ok movie to watch, just not remarkable.

I also felt that the scripting was weak and some of the clever banter between the characters that were really funny from the book was not prevalent in the movie which would probably have made the movie better.

Plus can I just add that the part of the movie depicting how some of the Cullens became vampires looked really stupid. In those scenes, it should have been scary but it turned out funny instead.

Anyway, I bumped into someone as I exited the cinema and she told me she loved the movie; I suppose it’s a fair review from a person who has not yet read the book. But for a fan, I left slightly disappointed.

Btw, I lead my boyfriend to believe that this was a true vampire movie (he wouldn’t have gone to the cinema with me if I said otherwise). No doubt he was expecting darkness, violence and gore ala Blade. Little did he know it was not all about vampires but more about romance *chuckles*. Anyway sorry for misleading you, at least you didn’t snore at the cinema baby.

Verdict: Book wins hands down, so read it!

Book Review: The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom

From Amazon.com:

Part melodrama and part parable, Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven weaves together three stories, all told about the same man: 83-year-old Eddie, the head maintenance person at Ruby Point Amusement Park. As the novel opens, readers are told that Eddie, unsuspecting, is only minutes away from death as he goes about his typical business at the park. Albom then traces Eddie's world through his tragic final moments, his funeral, and the ensuing days as friends clean out his apartment and adjust to life without him. In alternating sections, Albom flashes back to Eddie's birthdays, telling his life story as a kind of progress report over candles and cake each year. And in the third and last thread of the novel, Albom follows Eddie into heaven where the maintenance man sequentially encounters five pivotal figures from his life (a la A Christmas Carol). Each person has been waiting for him in heaven, and, as Albom reveals, each life (and death) was woven into Eddie's own in ways he never suspected. Each soul has a story to tell, a secret to reveal, and a lesson to share. Through them Eddie understands the meaning of his own life even as his arrival brings closure to theirs.

Albom takes a big risk with the novel; such a story can easily veer into the saccharine and preachy, and this one does in moments. But, for the most part, Albom's telling remains poignant and is occasionally profound. Even with its flaws, The Five People You Meet in Heaven is a small, pure, and simple book that will find good company on a shelf next to It's A Wonderful Life. --Patrick O'Kelley

 

My two cents worth:

I’ve always liked Albom’s simplistic style of writing with the ability to deliver strong messages across to the readers. Like his other books that I’ve read, The Five People You Meet in Heaven also succeeds to pull at the heart strings.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven begins with an introduction of the main character Eddie who lives in solitude after the death of his wife. The only human contact being his colleagues at Ruby Pier where he heads Maintenance.

Eddie losses his life in a freak accident and encounters five people in heaven that proceeds to teach him lessons in life. The people that he encounters; some strangers and some he knew have all significantly affected his life, with or without his awareness of their significance at that point.

The underlying theme of the book is that we are all connected to each other. Each decision we make in life will affect another person whether it is someone you know or a complete stranger and this message is strongly delivered from the five different people he meets in the afterlife. Other messages that came across is the importance of sacrifice, forgiveness, love and life itself.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven is poignant and provides important lessons that would make a reader reflect on what’s important in life after reading the book. I love the messages that came from the book but I found the storyline not as engaging as his other books. To date, Tuesdays With Morrie still remains my personal favourite from Albom.

Quote

I thought this quote would be a nice follow-up to my previous review of "The No Asshole Rule":

“The toes you are stepping on today may well be attached to the ass you need to kiss tomorrow”

Book Review: The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't by Robert E. Sutton

From the book:

In a landmark article published in the esteemed Harvard Business Review, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton addressed a taboo topic that affects every workplace: employees who are insensitive to their colleagues... corporate bullies... bosses who just don’t get it- the kind of people who make you exclaim in exasperation, “What an asshole!”

Now in a definitive book that addresses this growing problem, Sutton shows you how you can work with unsavoury people- without becoming one of them yourself...

My two cents worth:

Please excuse my language but I’m kinda enjoying writing this review.

Let’s start with the correct definition of Asshole in this context: It’s not fair to call every person that pisses you off in the office an Asshole. A person who deserves such a grand title has to have a habit of aiming his/her venom at people who are less powerful and leaving the victim feeling oppressed, humiliated, de-energized and belittled, basically making them feel worst about him or herself. I bet you have someone in mind already right? (I do and I’ll definitely tell you about my experience later)

In The No Asshole Rule, Sutton provides recommendations on how the rule can be implemented successfully into an organization that is serious about changing its culture for the better. Allow me to state this clearly again, this book is suitable for organizations or top influential decision makers that are serious about changing its culture but if you are happy with the ‘pro Asshole’ rule in your organization then don’t bother but the book may give you some useful insights on the pro’s and con’s of keeping to this rule.

Included in the book are case studies and research on the effects of allowing Assholes to run wild in an organization. It de-motivates employees, diminishes productivity, causes low self-esteem, increases turnover and lo and behold: IT WILL AFFECT YOUR COST and in some cases PROFITS. (You don’t really need a book to tell you that do you? The increase in turnover alone is a waste of resources because you would constantly need to interview new people to come on board)

Victims of Assholism (he he... there is no such word of course just bear with me here) will also find this book useful as it provides tips on how to survive these nasty people. If you have worked in an organization, chances are you’ll be lucky enough to come across an Asshole at least once in your lifetime so the tips are quite handy. It also provides a self test to see if you yourself are a certified Asshole. (Phew! My results say that I’m not an Asshole but I do admit that I can be a ‘temporary Asshole’ at times... I’m only human)

I found this book’s content based on common sense but what makes the book insightful is the case studies and research presented on how a ‘pro Asshole’ rule can effect an organization and its employees. The No Asshole Rule is not one of those business books that can put you to sleep within minutes. It’s definitely a good read and I definitely had a trill saying the word Asshole so many times in a day. (I don’t swear a lot so I take this opportunity with open arms)

For more information visit Bob Sutton’s blog on other useful organizational tips.

My story:

I’m writing to share my experience of what working with a mean spirited person can do to your overall well being and how best to survive. I once had a boss that was so vile that I nick named my tormentor '666'. I was hired because of my past achievements and strategic background in growing a business, but when I came on board none of these qualities were utilized.

My comments were constantly ignored during meetings, when in rare occasions my opinion was sought I would be shot down for giving such a stupid idea (only for the idea to be presented again at an opportune moment for 666 to take credit). 666 constantly berated me and as if it was not enough to torture me from 9-5 Mondays to Friday’s, 666 would call me up over the weekends just to taunt me on matters that were not even under my portfolio and always made sure to point out that I was the most incompetent and dumbest person in the world before hanging up. In other words 666 was CRAZY!

I’m described by my closest friends to be a person who is emotionally strong, seldom do I let unjustified comment bother me. But even the strongest person can fall prey to breakdown if the psychological abuse is provided in little doses consistently. Most of my other colleagues suffer the same torment but they’ve all noticed that I seemed to be her favourite subject of abuse.

There was little that we could do to overcome this challenge because despite being mean spirited, 666 was considered a treasure to the company. I hate to admit this but 666 produced results, was efficient and very hard working. The only flaw was that 666’s leadership qualities were based on fear. Because of 666’s leadership style, people feared making mistakes and even the nicest people were quick to point fingers to save their own skin...myself included; thus resulting in the lack of trust amongst peers.

The stresses of working in such an environment can cause sleepless nights; I had nightmares related to work, I was constantly afraid of being humiliated, constantly questioning my own abilities and worst I began to project the same attitude as 666. I was so stressed out that my relationship with my boyfriend and my parents became rocky. I was always snapping at them, imagine that, snapping at people I love the most. This was when I was also diagnosed with severe acid reflux and was once rushed to the hospital at 5 am in the morning.

I could tell you countless stories of 666’s evil ways but what I’d rather do is concentrate on ways to keep your sanity intact while working with such a person. My suggestion for those who are suffering the same predicament; LEAVE- life is too short and you do not deserve the abuse no matter how incompetent you are. We all have our strengths that can be useful contribution to an organization and there are always ways to improve your weaknesses.

Not long after I joined, I made a decision to leave the company but couldn’t do it immediately as I wanted to be very careful with my next employment selection. If you’d like my recommendation on how to survived such an environment, here’s what I did:

1. Avoid contact as much as possible. Use the email or phone rather than face to face contact.
2. Remind yourself of your positive attributes every day. This kept my confidence intact whenever I questioned if 666’s baseless accusations were true. It helps if you remind yourself of the things you’ve achieved in life.
3. Make jokes of the horrors you have experience so that you don’t take the verbal abuse personally. For example, every time 666 said something nasty, I’d joke and tell myself that 666 was only doing this because I’m smarter or prettier or whatever that would tickle my funny bone.
4. Don’t show emotion- Always act professionally when a nasty comment is given. Don’t give any indication that their comments are getting to you. Ignore them and trust me your indifference will annoy them more. All they want from their action is a sense of power and they will only be satisfied if you show them your weaknesses. If you act indifferent, they know they can't bully you and eventually they will leave you alone.
5. If you need to talk it over, confide in a friend. Trust me, you’ll feel better once you’ve let it all out and you’ll realize that you’ve just wasted energy on a useless cause.
6. If your achievement at work is non-existent, find other ways to have a sense of accomplishment like re-decorating your house or take part in activities. Even a simple thing like re-organizing your bank statements will give you a sense of achievement.
7. Keep yourself busy and don’t mull over the comments too much, take it with a pinch of salt but be realistic. If you’ve made a mistake, take the point constructively, learn from it then move on. One of my colleagues started going to the gym and he mentioned that running on the treadmill helped him shed all the pent up anger he kept inside.
8. Don’t look at the experience negatively; you actually learn a lot from Assholes as they can be a benchmark of who you DO NOT want to be in life.
9. Finally, if you’ve done all the above and many more and still feel abused then my only advise is LEAVE. Seriously life is too short to spend it with people who generate negative energy.

Other reading recommendations that could help:

• Dealing with People You Can’t Stand by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner.
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

Book Review: The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

From the book:

Nobody Owens, known to his friends as Bod, is a perfectly normal boy. Well, he would be perfectly normal is he didn’t live in a graveyard, being raised and educated by ghosts, with a solitary guardian who belongs to neither the world of the living nor the world of the dead.

There are dangers and adventures for Bod in the graveyard: the strange and terrible menace of the Sleer; a gravestone entrance to a desert that leads to the city of the ghouls; friendship with a witch, and so much more.

But it is in the land of the living that real dangers lurks, for it is there that the man Jack lives and he has already killed Bod’s family.

A deliciously dark masterwork by bestselling author Neil Gaiman, with illustrations by award-winning Dave McKean.

My two cents worth:

I first came across Neil Gaiman’s name through the movie Stardust (excellent movie, definitely my all time favourite). Since then I’ve read one or two of his books and have enjoyed them tremendously. The Graveyard Book is no exception. I truly admire Gaiman’s imaginative abilities and his talent for putting it down creatively on paper.

It didn’t hit me that the book was channelling Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book until I read the credits at the end. In Jungle Book the orphan was raised by occupants of the jungle whereas in The Graveyard Book, Nobody Owens or Bod is raised by occupants of the graveyard. It’s a book targeted to children, but adults who love adventures can definitely enjoy the book too.

Growing up in the graveyard gave Bod fascinating adventures among the dead as well as the living and the illustrations by Dave Mckean makes the stories come alive. To quote Patrick Ness’s review title on Gaiman’s latest work published in The Guardian UK “Neil Gaiman’s tales from the crypt are a deathly delight”, that about sums up my thoughts on the book.

Final thoughts: I think The Graveyard Book has great movie potential (yup me thinks it’s that gud) and I reckon Tim Burton can make it happen if he chose it as his next project. Anybody know how I can get this message across to Mr. Burton?